"WHAT WE DON'T NEED IN THE MIDST OF STRUGGLE IS SHAME FORBEING
HUMAN." - BRENE BROWN
We are accustomed to getting our oil changed when our car asks for it or we can blow our radiator. We get our tires changed when they need it. We get our hair cut when our ends are dead and we see a physician when we are ill. However many of us will swallow our emotions and struggles in fear that our pain will be shamed by others. Our brains need to process stress and trauma we can either do it consciously or unconsciously. (I have seen people process some really interesting feelings in their dreams."
It's ok to shop for a therapist like one would shop for a hairdresser, barber, or even a mechanic. I have seen people stay loyal to their hairdresser for years and when that person loses their person they feel lost. A relationships with a therapist does not last forever, sometimes we out grow our relationship with our therapist, someone moves, a new experience makes us seek out someone in another specialty, or we want a different perspective. The thing that matters though at the end of the day what matters is finding someone we feel we connect to who allows us to feel safe and free of judgment when we are with them.
My belief is that therapist are like shoes you have to try out a few till one fits. I tend to be a direct, honest, and genuinely nerdy clinician. Not everyone is comfortable with a therapist that is direct but would prefer someone who listens and reflects without providing input. Others may feel more comfortable with techniques that are more holistic in nature and sensory based. No one method is better than the other we are not cookie cutter versions of each other neither should therapy. It can be difficult for those of us who have experienced trauma to trust strangers but part of healing is learning how to create healthy relationships by identifying our boundaries.
Take your time get a few consults remember that therapy is not shameful it's essential to our mental health. Find someone to talk to who is safe and wont judge you. It's ok if we aren't the ones you choose but remember that we offer 15 minute free consultations.