Don't wait until you've reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal. - Unknown
When I worked in an Elementary School I would walk into classes to work with individual students or groups and in the mist of it I would observe the teachers. Not because because they needed supervision but because their techniques would inspire me. One of my favorite techniques was in the middle of lessons when a student learned something new the teacher would say “Kiss Your Brain.” I loved this idea of cheering them on and creating a term that helped them see themselves as smart and capable. There were other things that throughout the years teachers would do including allowing kids to go into the treasure chest and get a reward at the end of the week.
Somewhere along the line that stopped. Many of us stopped having small achievements recognized and only the big ones began to matter. That I believe shifted our perspective of our accomplishments and our self worth.
Many of my clients have at one point or another called me out for celebrating their small achievements. If they struggle with bathing or just getting out of their house I celebrate it. The truth is I think it is in the small achievements that we make the greatest changes. The struggle though is that most of my clients will diminish their accomplishments if they aren’t big enough. Often I hear things like “those are things that I am suppose to do.”
Since when is accomplishing a socially expected task not an accomplishment. Each day is a struggle and getting out of bed in itself is an accomplishment. Making it through work, feeding ourselves, stepping out the door, or even taking a few minutes to ourselves is an accomplishment. We cannot devalue each step we take because each of them is a building block to self trust and self worth. What we don’t see is each time we do something we “should” do we are showing up for ourselves. We remember that and then we begin to believe that we can do things or that we are capable which builds confidence.
Therefore I also encourage my clients to create some method of recording the things that they have accomplished that they have struggled with or they often forget. Whether this is by creating a jar with popsicle sticks labelled with each accomplishment or my personal favorite which is creating a folder in your phone with pictures of things you have achieved. After a while we collect enough information or examples that it is hard for our brains to discredit our efforts and we begin to feel good about ourselves. We are all capable of being the people we want to be and doing things we want to do but we have to have the right foundation.
We cannot look out our goals like they are an insurmountable obstacle but breaking it down into small steps that lead to a bigger goal. Since this is the best way of achieving our goals does it not also make sense that we celebrate those small steps that get us to that bigger goal.
And just remember if you are working with me be prepared to have even the simplest of things celebrated because I feel they matter. I feel each and every one of you matter and are worth being celebrated. So starting today be your biggest cheerleader and if this is hard for you find a therapist or counselor that can partner up with you and help you heal. Together you and them can work through your trauma to help alleviate the anxiety and depression that are often times the obstacles of seeing our own worth. Take the steps necessary to building a Better Tomorrow.
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