" CONFIDENCE ISN'T WALKING INTO A ROOM WITH YOUR NOSE IN THE AIR. AND THINKING YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. IT'S WALKING INTO A ROOM AND NOT HAVING TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE IN THE FIRST PLACE". - Unknown
At some point this week I heard the statement made to me stating “she’s the only person besides you that I know is so confident.” Still to this day when I am told that I am confident it knocks the air out of my lungs because I don’t generally feel that confident.
A few years ago I began processing my body image issues, issues that for years I denied having. I remember making statements that despite not being allowed to eat sweets and hiding in a bathroom to eat them I had surprisingly not developed an eating disorder. Was I wrong. Then I was introduced to the book Superwomen by Dr. Janina Scarlet and I resonated with one of her characters, and it was in that moment I realized that I had always been confident in the who I was as a person but never the body that carried the person. For years I had been placed on portion controls, treatments, and calorie counting. I spent hours at the gym and had begun measuring my body to identify that I had lost the weight. My desire to be small dictated my life until I read this book.
I began identifying that my beliefs were not healthy and so many times I just did not feel pretty enough or small enough. When It dawned on me I went straight to my husband and let me tell you I am not sure who was more surprised about my revelation; me or him. My husband stood there listening to me in shock and told me he had no idea I did not like my body because anywhere I went I would walk into the room like nothing else mattered. What I didn’t realize was that I always walk into a room comparing myself physically to other women. I know I shouldn’t and I believe all women are beautiful but the problem is I feel that all those women are more beautiful than I am and that physically I cannot compare.
It’s a shame that society has made women believe that no matter how intelligent we are or how many qualities we have to offer we are nothing if we are not beautiful. It has been quite a year and I would be lying if I said that it isn’t hard but I have decided to change that narrative. I may or may not be as beautiful as the other women in the room but that doesn’t matter because I am sooo much more than my body.
I have begun wearing crop tops and dressing however I please because so what if I have stretch marks or if my stomach is not flat. My body size should not stop me from being happy, dressing how I please, or feeling comfortable in my own body. I am grateful for people on social media like Alicia McCarvell, Lizzo, Sydney Bell, CurveySurferGirl (Elizabeth), Positivebod_ (Wendy), Bailey Peyton, Susy Roberts, among so many other who are out there living their best lives showing all of us that no matter what body we have been blessed with we deserve to be happy and live our lives to the fullest. I don’t know if I could have opened up about my own struggles without these ladies and I am so blessed for them.
Like always if you are struggling and needing support contact us here at better tomorrow we would love to support you along your journey.
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